Monday, February 15, 2010

HAWT Press Release – The Final Medal Results Are In

Our “panel of experts”, through exhaustive comparative analysis of the latest empirical data factoring in the latest environmental information utilizing the most current scientific tools which included both Gantt and Pareto charts, have determined the final medal standings.

Further to this, as a public service made available ONLY to the readers of this blog, we have used our exhaustive research to define the events readers should not miss, and by exclusion, what they don’t need to waste their time watching.

Our panel awarded a total of 76 medals – 30 Gold, 24 Silver, and 22 Bronze.

HAWT Blog officially announces that Canada has won the 2010 Winter Olympics with 4 Gold and 3 Silver medals.  The United States came in second place with 5 Gold medals.  The Russian Federation in third with 1 Gold, 4 Silver, and 1 Bronze.  Sweden followed with 1 Gold, 2 Silver, and 3 Bronze.  Great Britain rounded out the Top 5 with 2 Gold, 1 Silver, and 1 Bronze.

HAWT Blog also announces that Cross-Country Skiing, Ski-Jumping, Alpine Skiing, Figure Skating (duh!!), Biathlon, Snowboard, and Short Track are the only events worth watching.  Their may be some limited interest in Speed Skating and Ice Hockey, but really, don’t waste your time with the other events!

How did our panel come up with these results you ponder?  OK, it was just me and I scanned the Vancouver2010 website that had very tiny “ID badge head-shots” of all the athletes.  I then screwed around in Excel to come up with some totals.  Rest assured that I properly deducted points for “bad hair” and “bad teeth”.  HAWT Blog reminds readers and future Olympians (especially from Eastern Bloc countries!!) of the importance of these photos.  You don’t get your driver’s license photo taken on a bad hair day do you?!?  Is it too much to expect that you might run a brush over your head, maybe apply a little gel or mousse, OR even shampoo?!?

The Gold Medal Olympians will be highlighted over the next couple of weeks.


Final Medal Standings
Country Points Gold Silver Bronze
Canada
90
4
3
United States
75
5
Russian Federation
60
1
4
1
Sweden
50
1
2
3
Great Britain
45
2
1
1
France
40
2
1
Germany
40
2
1
Kazakhstan
40
2
2
Slovenia
35
1
1
2
Norway
30
2
Finland
25
1
1
Estonia
20
1
1
Netherlands
20
1
1
Republic of Moldova
20
1
1
Serbia
20
1
1
Latvia
20
2
Austria
15
1
Czech Republic
15
1
Lebanon
15
1
Italy
15
1
1
Japan
15
1
1
Slovakia
15
1
1
Andorra
10
1
Georgia
10
1
Hungary
10
1
Ireland
10
1
Lithuania
10
1
Algeria
5
1
Denmark
5
1
New Zealand
5
1
Peru
5
1
Spain
5
1
Ukraine
5
1

Events to Watch
Event
Points
Cross-Country Skiing
105
Ski Jumping
95
Alpine Skiing
95
Figure Skating
85
Biathlon
80
Snowboard
75
Short Track
70
Speed Skating
55
Ice Hockey
40
Luge
25
Freestyle Skiing
25
Nordic Combined
20
Curling
15
Bobsleigh
15

Gold Medal Winners
Country
Olympian
Event
Austria
Gregor Schlierenzauer
Ski Jumping
Canada
Stefan Read
Ski Jumping
Canada
Tristan Walker
Luge
Canada
Mackenzie Boyd-Clowes
Ski Jumping
Canada
Trevor Morrice
Ski Jumping
Czech Republic
Martin Cikl
Ski Jumping
Estonia
Ilja Glebov
Figure Skating
Finland
Peetu Piiroinen
Snowboard
France
Benjamin Mace
Short Track
France
Tony Ramoin
Snowboard
Germany
Johannes Rydzek
Nordic Combined
Germany
Konstantin Schad
Snowboard
Great Britain
Andrew Musgrave
Cross-Country Skiing
Great Britain
Ben Kilner
Snowboard
Kazakhstan
Nikolay Braichenko
Biathlon
Kazakhstan
Yan Savitskiy
Biathlon
Lebanon
Ghassan Achi
Alpine Skiing
Netherlands
Sven Kramer
Speed Skating
Norway
Martin Laumann Ylven
Ice Hockey
Norway
Tarjei Boe
Biathlon
Republic of Moldova
Sergiu Balan
Cross-Country Skiing
Russian Federation
Stepan Zuev
Alpine Skiing
Serbia
Milos Savic
Bobsleigh
Slovenia
Janez Jazbec
Alpine Skiing
Sweden
Oskar Eriksson
Curling
United States
Dylan Ferguson
Freestyle Skiing
United States
Gregory Bretz
Snowboard
United States
J.R. Celski
Short Track
United States
Patrick Kane
Ice Hockey
United States
Trevor Marsicano
Speed Skating

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