Thursday, August 07, 2008

GEORGE BUSH RESUME

GEORGE W. BUSH 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington, DC 20520 EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE: Law Enforcement: I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been 'lost' and is not available. Military: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam. College: I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader. PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas. ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS: I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America. I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money. I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history. With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of the United States, after losing by over 500,000 votes. ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT: I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record. I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week. I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury. I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history. I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period. I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues. I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My 'poorest millionaire', Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her. I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President. I am the all-time U.S. and world record -holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations. My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron. My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision. I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history. I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts. I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history. I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government. I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history. I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission. I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law. I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. 'prisoners of war' detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention. I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election). I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television. I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history. I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history. I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind. I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, preemptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community. I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime. In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends. I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security. I am supporting development of a nuclear 'Tactical Bunker Buster,' a WMD. I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice. RECORDS AND REFERENCES: All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view. All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years. We're gonna miss ya George!!

14 comments:

  1. now list the other past presidents! clinton was no better! they are all loosers! get a live!

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  2. can we leave the politics off this site. does anybody think affirmative action baby obama who was a state senator and a us senator just 500 days before running for President is qualified

    Bush for all his faults went on the offense and there havent been any more direct attacks on us since

    www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpGH02DtIws

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  3. bush supporters? on this site? do people read the news anymore, or just watch too much tv? Bush is a bonafide criminal who deliberately has harmed the american people for his profit.

    but i do agree most politicians are basically weirdos. that's why they do it.

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  4. LOL... I think you'll have to agree that I don't normally throw politics onto this blog, and have no intention of doing so. No disrespect was meant to any Republican either, in fact, there's probably one or two Hawt ones :)

    Clinton was no better??? Come on, my dog would have been better than Bush. Baby Obama just being a state senator?? At least he knows how to spell it. Bush never stepped outside of the U.S. prior to being Prez!

    Canada and U.S. have had close ties forever. Bush has done more damage to those ties than any other President.

    Whether Obama or McCain, or for that matter, my dog, anyone will be better than Bush!

    History will prove what a blight on the world he has been.

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  5. A video retort!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moutUEfqUQ4

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  6. I am the second not the firt poster. So there is more than one guy here who wants to see beautiful men sans politics. Anybody can group think. Mindless air head Bush bashing is just that. At least Bush knows that there are fifty states in the union and is humble enough to respect that public service is about his county not his personal self aggrandizement.

    Being President is not about being citizen of the world. America has plenty enough challengers and adversaries if the President of the United States is not first citizen to the make the case for America who is?

    Obama who was silver tongued at mocking his fellow Americans for not speaking french looked lost and tongue tied today when asked to react the Russian invasion of Georgia.

    Being libertarian, I believe in less government intrusion especially in my bedroom. The major thing the government should do is keep us safe. Clinton didnt do it. We were directly hit five times in his term, twice in NYC. Bush went on the offense. Obama will play into the stalling tactics of Iran to develop nuclear weapons.

    On the day the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor, their diplomats were in Washington negotiating peace.

    If Obama wins. I will miss George Bush.

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  7. Great post! I'm tempted to borrow the whole thing for my site. It's remarkable how upset these dittoheads-in-denial get about a mere statement of historical facts. It isn't "politics"--it's history.

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  8. your diatribe is flawed -- but why woould that bother you? obviously.
    Let's get back to wanking to your pics

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  9. I wish I could say that I cared that much about him that I actually researched it. I readily admit that I did not, rather I received this from a friend that actually gives a shit about this kind of thing. I'd love to know what part of the "diatribe" is flawed though - perhaps the part about being a cheerleader - I thought that was a bit over the top.

    I do agree with you regarding the "getting back to wanking" - much more productive I think :)

    My apologies to any of you "misguided" GWB lovers. :) No offense was directed at you - all scorn and malice is directed solely at him and his puppet-masters.

    uh oh...really... I don't mean to start anything more... how about... what Hawt Twink from this blog would we all want to be President?

    I don't think their politics would really matter would it?

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  10. This isn't funny because it's all TRUE! However, I prefer the pictures of pretty boys here.

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  11. The blog belongs to the blogger. If he wants to inject politics, then that's his call. If you object, don't access the blog (and get a life while you're at it.)

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  12. Thanks for writing this.

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  13. Clinton actually balanced the budget and urged Palestine and Israel to get along and cared about other foreign plight.

    Funny thing, I live here in Houston,TX and the Enron building was completed in 2002 around the time this whole mess come about; a 600ft building standing vacant for a while until other tenants moved in; It's still called the Enron building. Also, the smog here is a joke. On a clear hot summer day downtown can look like a blur and sometimes I have to role my windows up because it seems like gasoline mist in my eyes.

    funny but really not.

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